我的成长? #10112021

一转眼2021也快过了. 

It's 2am and as I'm writing this reflection post

The last time I tried to revive this little cosy space of mine was in 2018 (and that was before I even knew I'd be caught up in the rat race) 

Not a single doubt that it is CRINGEY looking back all posts from the way back in 2018 till 2016. There was one single thing that I noticed that hadn't change during this period, and that was my 'all out' personality, spurting every single nonsense without a single fear, a single thought about what people thinks, being loud, being me. 

You could see it from each and every post, how sincere I was in dedicating posts to my "gan siblings" and "besties" LOL. I would literally write in CAPS and in RED for each dedication post, sometimes i'dl even INCREASE THE FONT SIZE + BOLD the texts, in fear that my 12/13 years old besties would have missed the message (random memory of cbox just popped up in my head haha). Good shamlessly embarassing but fun, or more like, funny childhood memories.
Exactly what a kid is supposed to be living like.

Would un-alived myself if I had a single idea how nonsensical I was. 
Good times indeed. 

Someone once told me that I'm always living in the past, major throwbacks and random insertion of my own definition of fun experiences that I've had always appear in my Instagram stories from time to time. Truth is, in-fact the first thing at the start of the day, or sometimes at the end of the day, I would look for 'create' and look for 'x years ago' posts to re-share again. I sometimes wonder, too. Am I? Why am I, living in the past? Hmm.. Is this purely for recap of my good old moments or is it because I think that I'm suffering in this very present moment? 

"The grass is always greener on the other side" & one more saying that would suit me more would be, 
"The grass that you've walked past is always greener" 

As I continue to water the grass where I am walking, I find myself losing that joy, that fun, that energy, that positive upbeat spirit and that ray of hope. I feel like I'm not doing my best & that I'm just doing what's needed. Is this what/how growing up should feel like? 

Feel that I've been abusing this "growing up" thing for a really long time, ever since I was 18 and now I'm about to turn 25 soon. I should've been "all grown up" or at least what others had expected me to be (behaving). 

The road ahead isn't all rainbows and unicorns, anymore.
It's no longer bright, but neither is it dark too. 
It's all just a blur. 
Me being me, the absolute hater for uncertainty. This feeling really sucks.
& I know, no one could un-blur this for me, because I only see things for myself, and that I truly need to believe in it.

Sometimes, many times actually. I envy friends who carry a happy-go-lucky attitude. I envy friends who "have their life all sorted out". I envy friends who could just go ahead with what life has got for them. I envy friends who's mental fortitude is out of the world, who could make everything work for them and be in control of every single aspect in their lives. 

这说长不长，但说短也不短的3年..
What exactly have I learnt, what exactly have I become, or what am I becoming?
Some said 1 year in this industry = 5 years in it.. so.... does it mean I've already mentally aged +15 years? Haha.
没人告诉我这会是我所需要经历的人生旅途.
It sure hadn't been easy, but have it been worth it though? Would what I've learnt, experienced, and went through be sufficient to say that I've grown? No idea, nobody knows too I guess. 

All that ups and downs, I say CRASHING down the hill with no brakes kind of downs, all that self destructing mental thoughts and basically giving up on myself kind of attitude and behaviour. Would you have counted this as "failure"? 

5/10 years down the road, I'll be reading this post again. I hope to be laughing and cringing at my immature thoughts and writing, I hope to be where I had envisioned myself to be. I hope to be a better person, with a stronger mental state, with pure confidence and be really happy with who I am, what I've earned in life. 

这人生旅途还没完.

Till then,
keep leveling up Lynette.


P.S/ Writing is a really a thing that I enjoy. Sometimes, it's nice to be back to sweet old simpler times.
P.S.S/ DOES ANYONE STILL USES P.S?
P.S.S.S/ This blog is private, so who do I think I'm writing to? HAHHAHA  

2018

Should I write up a summary of the past 3 years?

Just

Just as i thought it is finally time to start anew, wipe off all the memories and gather up my courage to take a step.. i realised it's too hard.

So hard to move on without fighting my emotions, my thoughts..

How is it that people do move on so quickly? Is it because they never really cared or is it because they know whats just better for them.

Anyways, i need a revamp in my life. I need to clear things up, sort out my priorities and step up my game.

It's you v.s you.

Update.

So i haven't been talking much about my entire (supposed) long holidays since after O's last year.

So basically, i'm the first out of all to get a job, a job that starts real soon, too soon, just the next day right after the last paper. That's only possible because i'm too lazy to look for jobs while i was still in the midst of prepping for O's sooo... you guessed it. Went back to Innovatez, the previous (and only) company i've work with during 2013 (was also after O's). Same old thing, sales promoting sales promoting. You get the drill. So work was pretty tiring, okay i would say REALLY tiring. Working everyday isn't a joke, it's like i'm MARRIED to my job. Though i would say that there's nothing much to learn from in sales line but i guess that over the time, i've picked up the skill of communication(?) or rather, promoting. Well, i hope that's the least of what i did pick up from.. So there goes, 4 months of working with Innovatez till i finally take off from the job.

What comes next is my long awaited vacations! Leggo Hongkong & Taiwan! So it was both a week's trip with Miss Lee & the man of my life, haha. Well, i wouldn't say that i've had the best time overseas, but it was really an eye opener for me. At least i get to experience chilly 16 degrees weather and freezing 12 degree weather, and smoke/vapour(?) coming out of my breath as i talk. Awesome. Excuse me but this is really exciting for me, did i mention? The furthest country i ever been to in my entire life was, Thailand, Hat Yai, BY COACH and, 10 YEARS BACK. Now you feel the excitement for that i finally get to take a plane and go somewhere further than that after so long, and TWICE in a month. God blessed me.

So right now, i'm finally having my "holidays" after all the working and vacays, so things have been going really smooth. I had wonderful time spent with my prince for the past few weeks and now school's gonna start real soon, and *mental update: i'm feeling really scared and having mixed feelings & second thoughts* but oh wells,
God has plans for me and for where he lead, i will follow.

That's all for my little update, till then sunshines!

Hong Kong Part 1.

Hong Kong 4/3/15 - 10/3/15.

WARNING: THIS POST CONSIST OF 80% PHOTOS AND 20% TEXT

Day 1: Departure.

YES. The long awaited trip to Hongkong with Miss Lee. Who knew this plan will actually take place!
(the last time i took a plane was more than 10 years ago, excited me is excited)

Timecheck; 0030am. Caption: Miss Lee having her favourite supper from Wang after we've checked in successfully, whereas i'm about to die of tiredness. Lol.

Timecheck: 0130am. & this was all that i saw from the plane before taking off ): Its all lies about seeing the pretty night skies and city lights from up above. All i saw was pitch BLACK. 

Selfie before we sleep???

Timecheck:0630am. Ermmm.. Morning selfie?

FIRST THING FIRST. Simcard, because i can't live without data and the essential Octopus card!
(I lied, the first thing was to actually went toilet lol)

7-11 for breakfast? While waiting for Rachael to pick us up to check in to our apartment. Yes, we didn't stay in any hotel, too poor for dat. But home stay is really fun too! Got our awesome apartment through www.airbnb.com. By the way, 17 degrees is really chilly hahahahahahhahaha.

Eh, the "must-take" HK streets photo?

YAMATAE. I DIED. Yes, this is where our home is.

Because i never come Hong Kong before so i must take a photo even in the train. Tourist much.

Lam Tsuen Wishing Trees.
(Till 5th of March only)

Directions: Yau Ma Tei à Tai Po Market Stn

(Change to East Rail Line, towards Luo Wu/Lok Ma chau@ Kowloon Tong Station Platform 1)

Walk to Exit A1, take KMB bus route 64K or 65K or minibus 25K.
Alight at Fong Ma Po Bus Stop (12 stops).

Cross the road.

It's said that if you write down your wishes, tie it with oranges, and throw it up this magical tree, your wish will come TRUE. I guess that's pretty much provided that it gets hooked up on the first try and it doesn't fall down after that??? We didn't get to try this as the officials has ceased the tradition of throwing oranges as it has caused many incidents(?) Not too sure, still quite an eyeopener for us tho haha.

Act one tumblr-ish. No just kidding, i took this secretly behind Miss Lee's back, literally.  

Did i mention how amazed i am by the mountains that's almost seen everywhere and the mist of 17 degrees? There's basically 3 out of every 10 pictures that i took a (failed) photo of the amazing scenery. #itried.

HERE, is our first ever proper meal. Woohoo.
Baked Spaghetti?!?!?! at Cafe De Coral a.k.a 大家樂, which can be found everywhere, i mean it.

Fan Ling Hakka Village Trail. 

Directions: Tai Po Market à Fan Ling Stn

Walk to Exit B, Visit Fung Ying Seen Koon.

Then Walk thru Fan Ling MTR Stn, follow signage, turn left, walk down the stairs à green bus terminal

Take 54K green mini bus, alight @Shung Him Tong

Matcha for you guys??? Matcha ice cream at 17 degrees??

We hiked up.

& we reached the top.

& then we hiked down the other side. 

Only to find that we came to a dead end because there were DOGS THAT JUMPED OUT OF THEIR FENCE AND CHASED US, so, we hiked back up calmly and went back down the same trail...

Waiting for the minibus, yes the green minibus you see in HK dramas.

Too tired, i slept while standing in the train. Halp.

And yes, dinner. Dim sum is a must when you come to Hongkong. But, this is seriousl. not. nice. )))): So no photos of it either, and it's costly.

END OF DAY ONE. Woo.

Day 2: Ocean Park.

Opening Hours: 10.30am to 7.00pm

Directions: Take MTR à Admiralty Stn1

Walk to Exit B à. Walk to Admiralty West Bus Terminal  (Drake Street outside Lippo Centre)

Take bus 629

Too lazy to comment on each photo but we spent the entire day at Ocean Park, getting onto all the rides, visiting all the aquariums, taking cable cars from one peak to the other. And all the mandatory Ocean Park photos, getting from one end to the other is really tiring. Ocean Park is HUMONGOUS.

*Think i just lost all my energy to blog*

DAY 3: MACAU***Must bring passport

Directions: MTR àSheung Wan Stn¹, Exit D

Walk to Shun Tak Centre (200 Connaught Road Central, Hong Kong)

Tickets can be purchased @ 3^rd floor of Shun Tak Centre, Shop 305N or 305D²

Walk to East Bridge Check-in gate @ HK-Macau Ferry Terminal à immigration à go to seat allocation counter to get a seat à board ferry

To get to St. Paul:
Take bus 3a outside Macau immigration.

Must try (not): Portuguese egg tarts (i think kfc better)

And the (so) disappointing: Pork Chop Bun (that sg also sells..)

Some random couple fighting in the rain walking back to their school hahah.

Dinner @ Sun Kee 新記餐廳Champagne Court just opposite The Mira hotel.

Address:

Tsim Sha Tsui shop: 13-14 Champagne Court, 16-20 Kimberley Road 金巴利道, Tsim Sha Tsui尖沙咀, +852 2722 4555

Wanchai shop: Shop G11-G14, New Century Plaza, 151-163 Wan Chai Road, Wan Chai, +852 2574 3988

Cheesy noodles! Must try!


Avenue Of Stars.

Direction: Tsim Sha Tsui Promenade à Avenue of Stars

Walk along the river, overlooking Victoria Harbour

Came back earlier as expected, so we shifted our original plan of Avenue Of Stars to today. Chilly night by the sea, hi-fiving all the world famous star. That's right, placing your hands on the cold hard floor.

Im dead, till then.